Oh Fck.

I spent a couple of hours working on a contest entry…frankensteining arms/faces/even furniture when I realize…that I did it wrong.

I DIDNT FREAKING USE MODERN CLOTHING.

JWOERWOEJR.

FCK. Two hours down the drain. Now I have to redo the entry. Unless the clothing that I can use can pass off for modern-couture.

BURWKOERJ

I hope so. I’ll post the finished picture in my flickr when Im finished.

BUT DAMN.

Crazy Bitches.

*cough*

My stomach hurts.

And I have a lab report to finish.

Totally hating the layout.

Since I’ve been bummed out about life, I decided to make a list of things that Im not bummed about to make myself feel better…and a list of things that make me sad or stress me out just to compare/contrast.

I am happy for:
My teeth — naturally straight and pretty white
That I have siblings (however annoying they are to keep me company)
That I have enough money for fairly nice things
That I’m not stupid

Bummed Outness:
My stupid knee has taken 3+ months to heal…and I’m not even off crutches yet.
Im stressed about getting kicked out of PE
Im stressed about business competitons
I hate my stupid dry, short hair
Im gaining too much weight
Being addicted to a television show that I cant watch due to business competitions
Im stressed that my family — everyone except me is flying out of the country for a week for my grandma’s funeral…and I have to be alone in my house for a week…
Im pissed…beyond pissed of having to stay up late doing work and not being able to sleep enough
Cranky because of my low test scores
Exhausted of hurrying to school even being on crutches — fuck those stupid waif people who walk as if the world is not moving
A stupid code red lockdown we are having at school
Pissed that Im not walking yet
And myfriends who I really actually dont even like too much.
Physical therapy hurts to the point where im cursing like a sailor/crying.
Being addicted to a little computer game.
Not being able to go shopping due to my physical disability.
My skin is acting up.

Most things stem from school — I wish I could be homeschooled!!! The prices of being a good student.

UGH. I might as well just throw myself a pity party

Im bummed.

Just really sad and tired. About everything and stupid little things. And I cant believe a television show was all that it took to set me off.

And exhausted…I really wish that I could just stop everything…then I wouldnt have to go through everyday. Being tired and cranky and sad and frustrated that things arnt going my way. Things in my personal/real life are really down in the dumps…and Im a person who gets saddened easily.

I just need a break. From simming? Yes, quite possibly…Im just so tired with real life that I cant handle it all right now. Especially sorry to everyone at AV…I’ll always check up from time to time, just I wont post as much.

Hopefully this will pass in a week or two.

I need to get to work on repairing my life.

I’ve always wondered this.

But do you think having a doll collection is weird? Cause dolls are kinda freaky since they look quite humanish. But I’ve always wanted to collect something.

Today as I was playing on the internet I found this amazingly weird and intresting Japanese type of doll called Pullips. They kinda look like high fashion, higher quality bratz dolls.

They have really pretty hair and really cute clothes. Especially the gothic looking dolls.

I got that off of someone’s Flickr, so it’s not my photo. (Oh my, that teddy bare looks like it’s in distress.)

Maybe I should get one? Hmm…they are pricey though.

WEJROWJER fuckeroo.

Thats my new word fuckeroo…a more light hearted version of fuck with a more negative connotation.

Today my hospital bills came.

$27,000 without the doctor….

That’s a car right there.

Why the hell is anethesia $5000? WEJROJWEJROJWEOR….we were told it’d only be $1000.

All because of a knee. UGH…it makes me so mad!

And now my grandma is in ICU (anemia…not quite sure how to spell it, but her red blood cells are having problems)…and my mom wont be there when I get my stitches off on Jan 2nd…

Life is crappy.

My brain is melting.

Only two more days until school starts again.

Fuckeroo.

The end.

Hmm…today was an OK day…I got a Medium-high B on my math test….actually I got a 77.5 but it got curved so I went up about 9 percent.

I found out a Senior friend of my sisters got into MIT…so I was happy/jealous for her.

Here comes the pooey part.

Today we got our essays back…and guess what. I got a B+. That pissed the crap out of me. I have never not gotten an A on an essay before. I’m not saying that I’m the most perfect writer, and there were mistakes that I could have been more careful to fix, but over all it was a pretty good interpretive essay. And here’s the best part, she gave a girl who came to America two years ago a 96…who cant even speak english properly/use grammar properly. She said that grading was ’subjective’ subjective my ass. It’s subjective for all the girls in the class who arnt asian. And get this…shes from India but because as a little girl she went to school in Suadi Arabia always says she’s from the middle east. Middle eastern people do not look like you at all. India is technically Asia…so she is being bitchy to her own sort of people. And its not me that she’s bitchy too…she’s extremely forgiving and nice to all the flunky junky kids but not the kids who try hard. I guess going from Stanford and then transfering to a State college was really a great move especially for your brain. She has this complex where she deperately wants to be European. Thats the vibe I get from her. One day she was totally unprofessional and was asking this blonde girl how she got her high-lights. Its like YOU HAVE NATURALLY BLACK HAIR….YOU CANT HAVE NATURAL BLONDE HIGHLIGHTS!!! And the funniest part is that she still thinks shes so young…she was like “Oh yea! I saw that on MTV — My Super Sweet Sixteen!” Its like…my goodness…you are 26….GROW UP ALREADY!!!

And she always has this annoying way of strutting around the classroom like she’s all that and a bag of chips, and always says this extremely bitchy and nasally “UMMMM”.

I only have about 3 weeks to deal with this bitch and as soon as second semester starts…I’ll never have to see Miss Bitchface again.

Seems like my days are getting better…despite doing, awefully on my math test. I probably got a C. Grrr. That’ll make my B and even more B. Stupid pre-calc stuff. That means I have to do ULTRA ULTRA well on the final (15% of my grade) and do all the extra credit (60 points) to get an A-.

I went to the doctors a few days ago…to find out the results of my MRI…as my mom and I were driving there I felt as if I was about to go to a death sentencing. When we got there the doctors office was all hot and stuffy and I could feel my heart beating so quickly when they handed me the MRI report. I read over it a few times and at first I didnt comprehend it. But then the doctor came and explained what was really wrong.

Good news, all my ligaments, and my meniscus are intact. The physical tests done by two doctors had been wrong. They have not ripped out so I will not be needing my knee drilled. However, I still need surgery. All my pain in my knee was caused by the three fractures…of the femur, tibia, and my patella (knee cap). During my accident part of the inside of my knee cap got broken off. It has floated from the top center of my knee to the left inside of my knee and therefore is the reason why I can not bend without a sharp pain or put pressure on my knee. The bones/cartilage inside my knee have been bruised thats also why it hurts to lift my knee, and there is still swelling.

I’ll be needing a surgery on getting the broken piece of knee cap out from the side of my knee and either have it removed or pined back into my kneecap. If it is not removed, it could travel down to the meniscus and cause problems such as meniscus tears which would then require a second surgery to be sewn up. I’m opting for it to be removed because a few days after surgery I’ll be able to walk, instead of the pinning proceedure, then I’ll have to wait 3 more weeks on crutches and then when the bone heals, I’ll need a second surgery to take the pin out — not fun so I’m not leaning toward that option. I think I’ll have a bit of knee instability for a few months since my knee cap is not completely whole. I’m guessing that is why the femur slides foward a little bit. But the doctor explained that a blood clot will happen where the knee caps’s bone got chipped off and new cartiladge/bone will grow.

Today the doctor also clarified that I would not need to get pre-operative blood tests for the surgery, that really relieved me because it’ll be one less needle that I need to get prodded with.

I’m still nervous about the surgery, but the good thing is I will not need to wear a leg brace for six months. But the bad news is that I wont be able to wear high heels for about a year until eveything gets back to normal.

Another note: wow, I never realized how many scans there were in the MRI! And I saw my own fat in it. >.