I. Am. Very. Scared.

Tomorrow is my surgery…as much as I want it done, I am still very very scared.

The main thing(s) that I’m worried about are:
Maybe I’ll go crazy from the anethesia and never wake up, or wake up and become extremely brain damaged.
The IV needle.
Being naked underneath a backless hospital gown.
The afterpain/scar.

And I feel extremely lame. Like seriously lame. Like the lamest person on the planet lame. Why do I spend my whole day playing sims/eating/browsing multiple sim forums? I feel like such a web nerd… I have not gone out (ie shopping in 8 weeks mostly because of the crutches…and my friends, they never go out anywhere either…) I want to have fun friends who will dress up with me and go out for some coffee to chat…but sadly I do not. All the ‘fun’ people at school are extreme sluts and manwhores who are mean and rude to authority…total jackasses.

I wish stereotyping did not exist.

I cant wait until I can start dancing again…then I’ll have some social contact. GRSH.

Why are all the hot guys older than me?!? JWEORJW. Fuck it.

This happened 2 days ago: a ‘friend’ of mine who is a total bitchface goes and gives my other friend a gift right in front of me. She didnt get me anything. If you are going to give gifts out, and there is someone there who you didnt get a gift for, dont be a bitch face and hand it out right then. It’s called going somewhere in private. I hate people who dont have the common decency…to be respectful of other’s feelings. And I also hate it when you think highly of people, but they dont do the same for you.

And she also invited most of my friends to her b-day party and didnt invite me…but she drew a little notice in my agenda as a reminder…after I had heard about it I was like HAH. As if I’m getting you a gift.

So next year, when it’s my birthday I’m going to have a big birthday bash(hopefully 100+ people) — and not invite her. Thats what she gets for being such a rude ho. (I know I’m petty…but I cant help it! BLARGHWJEORPOO.

And another friend of mine…her friend got her something from Juicy Couture…and she was flaunting the bag around and when I asked to see what she got she was like NO! Its like, if you dont want anyone to see it, put it in your backpack, dont show it to the freaking world…geez!

On a different note…good news: I think Im going to get my haircut soon. I found the cutest haircut online on Gemma Ward and since I look sorta like her (70-something percent according to a celebrity face matcher) I think it’ll look good on me. This super cute vest thing from Guess is on sale…and so are these pair of Steve Madden wedges. They’d be perfect for business competitions…but then again… I love that jacket…it’s so cute…but my mom will never buy it for me…after all I have to use $15,000 tomorrow.